You used to all come here for the geopolitical analyses, okay. People are worried, the media shows British troops amassing in the Estonian hinterlands, the American tanks in Narva, specter of Russian aggression, the pro-Kremlin zombie stooges amok on the commenting boards, like the worst case of Montezuma’s Revenge. Shit. I just don’t feel it though. Maybe I am just too blissed out by the advent of spring, those lovely little birds chirping (and yes, spring did come to Europe, even in 1939) but I just don’t sense the danger and here’s why: because short of invading Estonia, losing a lot of little green men, getting into a nuclear eye-for-an-eye, city-for-a-city, and imposing Yana Toom on the throne as a yes woman (who will be perpetually pelted with rotten potatoes and turnips until driven into exile in Damascus where she can behold and becoddle her boyfriend Assad’s hand lovingly), the Estonian leadership now is, quite honestly, the best the Kremlin could hope for. The President, Kaljulaid, is a born and raised Estonian woman whose outlook east is not the outraged Atlanticism of her predecessor, but the rather common moral superiority of the nordics (“the situation is not ideal, but the ethical state must make do, etc.”) making her sound, in a roundabout, removed, unfinlandized yet way, like Tarja Halonen. The prime minister’s party had that deal with United Russia in the ’00s, which probably doesn’t mean much, but it does mean so very much to the Kremlin (“our guys are in power there”), the same way that Lavrov still talks about Swedish “neutrality” as if it really meant something, or that they’re flustered about being “engulfed by NATO,” when it’s obvious the West is in shit shape. That doesn’t mean that the gasket protecting us from global meltdown isn’t going to blow soon, but if it does, it’s probably going to steam in Korea or some such place, where heavy missiles land in the seas. In which case, we all should feel alert and alarmed, no matter where we are.